Who's the dummy?

I always wanted to be a ventriloquist and in my teens spent a few weeks of my hard-earned apprentice's pay to buy a superb figure. I never really worked hard enough to master the art so Humphrey has spent most of his existence in the case. Dummy.

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Can't be everywhere.

I'm missing a regular weekly treat, the Corktown Ukulele Jam at the Dominion Hotel, 500 Queen Street E., Toronto. This week the theme is Gordon Lightfoot and I love his music. It's a hoot, this jam, close to a hundred ukulele fanatics turn up with instruments. It starts at 8PM, be early or sit at the back.

They have a quiz on their web page identifying ancient pictures, last week it was this one, from 1954:

First thing I did when I got to Canada was to have the jacket made, I wanted one that would look good on TV which was black and white at the time. I never did land a TV gig wearing it but finally got thirteen weeks with CITY-TV wearing my pearly suit, in black and white, in 1972 just as colour came in. They used a little b&w remote system in a van, sold the van and cameras etc. to Venezuela right after my series finished.

London Bobby, time traveller from the last century.

I left my cash with Tony Bennett

To be fair, I bet he was heartbroken he didn't get to sing "I Left My Heart in San Francisco" for the Torontonians last night. About twenty minutes into his set it started to rain and the promoters, citing safety concerns for crew and audience, announced a ten-minute break to let the storm pass over. About forty-five minutes later, after a few more ten-minute delay announcements, they cancelled the show.

There had been a long intermission after Diana Krall's set with slow clapping from the crowd indicating impatience. If they had kept the intermission to twenty minutes perhaps the show would have been finished before the rain came. Presumably an outdoor theatre has a sharp eye on the weather so the long intermission was unconscionable. So we didn't get The Big Finish.

For James Taylor's show the previous week the parking was free, apparently prepaid by the promoters. For the Bennett/Krall show it was twenty dollars, this price not mentioned anywhere in the promo. Line-up to get into the parking was chaotic, about forty-five minutes. For twenty bucks a little more efficiency would be appreciated. More gates, better signage. And lower cost, this is not downtown.

While our theatre scene is quite vibrant, outside the theatres Toronto has some catching up to do. Nearly anywhere else in the world there is some place to eat after the show. I am not asking for fine dining but there must be something more civilized than Chinese takeaway or McDonald's drive-through. The chance of finding anything to eat near the Rexall Centre is particularly grim, it is a cultural oasis in an epicurean waste-land, about fifteen kilometres from downtown Toronto.

It is nice to see a live star in a live performance, but to tell the truth the theatre is so big I was watching the giant video screen most of the time. So is the cost, the parking, the line-ups, the driving, the weather uncertainty all worth it? Not really.

Bob Smtih
Time traveller from the twentieth century.

First sight of Canada from a DC3

1951, the RAF sent me to Canada to learn to fly. (In Gimli, Manitoba, where they have wide open spaces with nothing of value to damage when we crash.) We crossed the Atlantic in a DC3, stopping at Iceland on the way to refuel. I spent ten months learning to fly a Harvard in Gimli and came back to Canada as an immigrant when I was demobbed in 1953.

Gimli is now known as the Air Canada gliding school, it is where the jet landed that ran out of fuel at 30,000 feet. See Gimli Glider, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gimli_Glider

London Bobby

Time traveler from 20th century