In this cage - wicked drinkers.

My first experience of a Toronto pub was trying to get into a bar where the girls were. A very large gentleman demurred and pointed out the wall down the middle of the pub and the sign that said, "Ladies and escorts only". On the other side of the wall was where dirty old drinking bastards like me should go. The decor was 1940 toilet (this was 1953 when I first hit Toronto) and the chairs and tables were Salvation Army basic. Several male waiters walked around with trays loaded with small glasses of unspecified draft and, unasked, slammed down two glasses for the newcomer and demanded twenty-five cents, imagine! You had to be seated to drink, you couldn't take your glass and walk over to another table if you saw a friend and you sure as Hell were not allowed to sing. These were the laws of the LCBO. By God we will make a profit selling the stuff but we sure as Hell won't let 'em enjoy it.

In 1971 they relented a bit and I persuaded the owner of a Greek restaurant to rename it "The Barmaid's Arms" and hire me to sing English Music Hall songs and get the crowd singing. He had quite a tussle with the LCBO to get the name approved with the word 'bar' in it, people might think there was booze in there.

Last Sunday I went to the Brampton Fair. Several stalls sold hotdogs and hamburgers but if I wanted a beer I had to go through this gate with security guards, into this wire enclosure and, get this, wear a red identity band on my wrist. I think the beer concession was being operated by the same people that do those private-enterprise prisons.

What depresses me is that when my friends in England, America and anywhere else in the world except Moroccco read this they won't believe it but my friends here in Ontario will just sadly shake their heads and say , "Yup, that's the way it is". I want to run into the street shouting, "Rise up! Shake off the oppressors!" and make a bonfire of red wrist-bands but it is hard to be a revolution all by myself. Come on, you lot, rise up!

My name is London Bobby. I am a time-traveller from the last century and some things haven't changed much.